i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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