small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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