if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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