1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just tell him i said nine months
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
