No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
