I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
