Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
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its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
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I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.