The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
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Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest