Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
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I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it