Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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