I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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