I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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