Swine flu. Run for my life!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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