how can u be prego again
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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