We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
