Your tits are I can't wait for
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Every concussion has its silver lining
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
