do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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