I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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