sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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