I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
