And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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