You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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