how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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