I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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