Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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