She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
