two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize