I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
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the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
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I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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