At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
