you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize