Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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