I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
