the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
