You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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