I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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