Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
