dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Me too!
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
