Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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