Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
