Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
