yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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