Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
