I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
