I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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