he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
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Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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