no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
