Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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