I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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