wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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