Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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