The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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