If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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