he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
