I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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