Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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