you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
