Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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