I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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