thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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