I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
