too bad you live with your parents still
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
